Its about to go down. The Spartans are warming up and the arena is filling up. The opposition are warming up while suffering the verbal abuse from spectators. They do not have enough fans to take over the raging roar of the home crowd. The essence of the burger vans overpower the atmosphere as meaty burgers flip on the grill. Greasy chips cook in the fat. Once cooked being covered in salt and ketchup to fill up the hungry bellys of the fans as they are about to face a long tense 90 minutes of blood, sweat and tears.The turnstiles are spinning, ‘click,click,click’, as more and more reckless bodies pile through. The roar is getting louder. The atmosphere is becoming more intense by the second, the bookmakers are taking in large amounts of money, as well as the bar due to beers after beers being bought. The gladiators are going into the changing rooms showing no emotion what so ever. As they need to get ready for the hour and a half of broken bones, abusive chants from the 60,000 spectators attending and hopefully not as much blood shown as last time out. The boys in blue are on standby as lots of violence is for certain to occur when the opposing fans approach the North Londoners. This is no ordinary game of football this is West London vs North London, winners vs runners up, history vs the future, red vs blue, this is it. As the players walk out the atmosphere goes from average to breathtaking and so the chants begin. The nervous blood running through the veins of 22 pocket filled soldiers on the pitch. Everyone’s in position the unfortunate referee checks his watch, 3 pm it is and we are under way.
The shocking scenes of last nights catastrophe is over, there is no one to be seen its so silent. Just sixty-thousand seats and 26 turnstiles. The rain must of turned red over night, the brutal winds must of swept everyone away and the vicious warriors have left no afters for the next opposing team.Such a huge venue yet you could probably hear a pin drop when suddenly, they come marching out to their truck “left right, left right” they shout, the ground is shaking but, is it an earthquake? NO! Its the 11 soldiers coming out on top with not a scratch on their face. Furthermore, here comes the other group not looking as strong as the first. Bandages around their craniums, scars on their chest and 5-6 of them getting a free ride home in the ambulance. The grills are still greasy however the vans are closed. Besides, they deserve the day off as they took in a fortune last night. As well as the bar maids and men as they had an extremely busy night drinks after drinks being pulled at the bar due to the high spirits of some very fired up fans not to mention the old bill releasing some unfortunate, angry, drunk and dis-orderly West London chaps with a very long journey home ahead of them and that will probably include some paracetamol to get rid of the repetitive banging in their head. The bookmakers are re-opening for the later Sunday games as they need to earn back what they gave out last night. Its quite in North London, with a positive mood, meaning that the previous night has decided that London is RED.

March 22, 2016 at 9:51 am
This has great potential – read it again now and you’ll see that there are moments of brilliance – and then lapses, when the description loses its vividness – I’m confident you can develop it further
Also – You must attend to the minor spelling, grammar and punctuation errors to gain the mark that the work deserves.
Current grade: 24/40 D1 (This could be really easily developed)
April 25, 2016 at 10:24 am
It’s going really well. I think a 10 minute conversation and a few small amendments and you’ll be there with a piece you’re really proud of.